Skip to main content

Practical Ideas From Our Research For Couples

By Hilary Dalton, Kaity Pearl, and Brooke Zavodney

Hilary Dalton, one of the key contributors, was invited to work with students to put together a list of ideas from publishable articles that would be beneficial to religious couples and those that work with them. Below is a list of the categories of helpful ideas, with links to pages with more information and quotes as examples of how other faithful couples have found these ideas to be helpful.

Religion Promotes Marital Unity

Religious practices and beliefs promote marital unity when couples are willing to agree on certain beliefs and participate in several religious practices as a couple. When couples believe in God, that marriage is an image or reflection of God, and that God will help them get through challenges, marital unity may increase. Marital unity is also positively associated with couples working together to implement religious beliefs. These actions include working together to follow God’s commands and example, sharing goals to obey God and praying, fasting, participating in religious rituals, and engaging in religious discussions together.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of religion promoting marital unity:

data-content-type=""
“It’s the prayer that we had together that really drew us together. I just felt like there was a third person here and we’re just drawn together through prayer. It’s like spokes in a wheel, as you draw closer to the center, you draw closer to one another.” (Lambert & Dollahite, 2010, pp. 1448 – 1449).
overrideBackgroundColorOrImage= overrideTextColor= overrideTextAlignment= overrideCardHideSection= overrideCardHideByline= overrideCardHideDescription= overridebuttonBgColor= overrideButtonText= overrideTextAlignment=

Religion Strengthens Marital Commitment and Fidelity

Marital commitment and fidelity can be strengthened by shared religious beliefs and participating together in religious activities. If couples share religious beliefs, including believing that God is an active participant in their marriage, that marriage is a commitment or covenant involving God, that marriage is eternal, and that God sanctifies marriage, their marital commitment and fidelity will be strengthened. Some religions also have specific teachings that promote marital commitment and fidelity. Shared belief does not seem to be the only way that marital commitment and fidelity are positively influenced by religion. Couples can also increase their marital commitment and fidelity by attending church and participating in religious rituals and ceremonies together. Couples who wear religious clothing can also influence their marital commitment.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of religion promoting marital commitment and fidelity:

data-content-type=""
“God is the center of our marriage. We desire that God would be the center of our marriage, so that our commitment to each other is an outgrowth of our commitment to Him. . . . Faithfulness, fidelity, commitment, perseverance, covenant. Our faith definitely influences those.” (Lambert & Dollahite, 2008, p. 601).
overrideBackgroundColorOrImage= overrideTextColor= overrideTextAlignment= overrideCardHideSection= overrideCardHideByline= overrideCardHideDescription= overridebuttonBgColor= overrideButtonText= overrideTextAlignment=

Religion Helps Couples Avoid, Endure Through, and Resolve Conflict

Religious beliefs and practices have helped couples avoid, endure through, and resolve marital conflict. Shared beliefs are important in helping couples to cope with conflicts, avoid financial conflicts, and produce stable marriages. A specific belief in God directly aids in resolving marital conflict and a belief that God is a part of marriage, and that marriage is sanctified by God, helps couples endure and resolve conflict when it does arise. Religion helps to encourage couples to develop virtues that will help improve relationships and prevent conflict. Knowing God and his words as well as gender roles as taught by religion helps couples reduce their marital conflict. Religion was also found to encourage forgiveness and repentance, which in turn helped resolve and heal marital conflict. Religious actions were also found to be important in avoiding, enduring through, and resolving conflict. Individual and couple prayer, reading religious texts and attending church together were found to be an example that helped couples approach and resolve marital conflict selflessly.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of religion promoting marital commitment and fidelity:

data-content-type=""
“These (faith based) practices and traditions stabilized our marriage and improved our understanding with each other. Through . . . sermons and summer family Bible study, we know how to solve the conflicts between us, and how to stabilize our marriage. We’ve learned how to improve intimacy (and our) relationship . . .” (Lu, Marks, & Apavaloiae, 2012, p. 123)
overrideBackgroundColorOrImage= overrideTextColor= overrideTextAlignment= overrideCardHideSection= overrideCardHideByline= overrideCardHideDescription= overridebuttonBgColor= overrideButtonText= overrideTextAlignment=

Religion Helps Couples Cope with Challenges

Couples deal with many challenges – religion can help couples cope with these challenges, through beliefs and actions. Shared beliefs bring couples together as they experience challenges. A shared belief in God gives couples meaning, peace, and strength during challenges, and in turn helps to strengthen their marriage and helps them resolve challenges. Religious beliefs about marriage influence attitudes about marriage, which can help couples keep a broader perspective as they cope with challenges. A belief that challenges or trials can actually be a benefit to a couple’s relationships also helps them cope with the challenges that may arise. Religious practices can also help couples cope with the challenges they may experience. some of these practices include couple prayer, couple scripture study, and participating in religious rituals as a couple. Relying on religious leaders or a religious community can also help couples cope with challenges.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion helped a couple cope with challenges:

data-content-type=""
“During challenging times, the Word of God teaches us that we ought to take all our cares . . . all our problems, and all our needs to Him because He cares about us. I think that [it’s] important that we do this—that we take the Word of God and apply it to our lives, because that’s what it’s there for. . . . We take our problems to him, and He takes the burden off” (Marks et al., 2012, p. 704).
overrideBackgroundColorOrImage= overrideTextColor= overrideTextAlignment= overrideCardHideSection= overrideCardHideByline= overrideCardHideDescription= overridebuttonBgColor= overrideButtonText= overrideTextAlignment=

Religion Helps Couples Achieve Increased Marital Satisfaction

Marital satisfaction can be increased as couples embrace religion. Sacrifice and selflessness play a part in increased marital satisfaction and are encouraged by a belief in God and taught through religious practices. A belief in God helps to increase marital satisfaction through several facets. This belief brings feelings of peace and meaning to the marriage relationship, provides individuals with purposes in the marriage relationship, can provide an avenue through which one can be shaped and prepared to enter into marriage, and is a source of accountability that encourages individuals to change for the better; all of which contribute to increased marital satisfaction. A belief that marriage can be eternal helps increase commitment, which in turn helps prevent infidelity, increases confidence in marriage, and helps spouses be patient with each others’ weaknesses. Couples can also find spiritual role models in religious text and within their faith communities, which help promote higher marital quality and satisfaction. Couples are also better able to find meaning in life and to support each other as they practice religion together.

data-content-type=""
The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion helped increase a couple’s marital satisfaction: “Well, I don’t think we would have had a relationship with each other if God hadn’t been influential in our lives. So basically, I would have to say that God completely changed me to be able to have this marriage. There [were] a lot of things that He worked on in my life to straighten me out” (Goodman & Dollahite, 2006, p. 149).
overrideBackgroundColorOrImage= overrideTextColor= overrideTextAlignment= overrideCardHideSection= overrideCardHideByline= overrideCardHideDescription= overridebuttonBgColor= overrideButtonText= overrideTextAlignment=