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School of Family Life
American Families of Faith Project

Practical Ideas From Our Research For Youth

By Hilary Dalton, Jeanine Bell, and Jordyn Carter

Hilary Dalton, one of the key contributors, was invited to work with students to put together a list of ideas from publishable articles that would be beneficial to religious youth and those that work with them. Below is a list of the categories of helpful ideas, with links to pages with more information and quotes as examples of how other faithful youth have found these ideas to be helpful.

Religion is two-fold for Youth: Catalysts and Strategies for Exploration

There are many different ways for a youth to go about exploring his/her religious beliefs. Many resources are available to youth in the process of figuring out their religious identity. Youth can begin by exploring different alternatives, followed by making a commitment. As youth continue to explore that commitment, it is important to think about how well it seems to fit them and who they want to become. Youth need to continue to explore and commit both outside and within their religion as they try to figure out what best fits them personally in their religious identity.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can be a catalyst for youth to explore their religious identity:

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“This year in fact especially, like entering the University…and applying to be a philosophy major, lots of questions come up. I keep have to ask myself like ‘What do I really believe? What do I believe about this?’” (Layton, Hardy, & Dollahite, 2012, p. 168)
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Sacrifice or Giving up Something for Something Else is Common Among Most Religious Youth

Youth often give up something valuable for something else that could be more valuable (Dollahite, Layton, Bahr, Walker, & Thatcher, 2009). The majority of today’s adolescents are focused on their individual needs. Youth who are religious sacrifice things of value in order to meet their personal desire to be happy, but they also go beyond themselves and sacrifice as part of what they believe. They sacrifice many worldly comforts for many spiritual reasons. These sacrifices may include: societal expectations, popular culture, comforts and pleasure, time and activities, and peer relations.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how sacrifice is common among religious youth:

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“I’m not supposed to smoke; I’m not supposed to drink alcohol. I’m not supposed to do things that are going to hurt my body. I’m not supposed to get tattoos because my body is a temple and I’m supposed to keep it clean and pure because I mean you don’t go to any temple and see graffiti of a skull or a pink butterfly or anything on it. You don’t see writing on it. It’s just white and it’s pure and I want my body to be that way.” (Dollahite, Layton, Bahr, Waker, & Thatcher, 2009, p. 708)
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Among Religious Youth, There are Several Different Reasons for Sacrifice

Youth sacrifice for many different reasons. Sometimes they are asked to sacrifice and sometimes they do so without being asked. They also sacrifice in different areas of life and reasons for each area of life may vary. Some reasons youth may have to sacrifice include: (1) Connecting to a higher meaning or purpose, (2) Connecting to God, (3) Connecting to a faith tradition or community, (4) Fulfilling expectations, (5) Feeling affective benefits, and (6) Avoiding problems (Dollahite, Layton, Bahr, Walker, & Thatcher, 2009).

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of a reason a youth gave for sacrifice:

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An 18-year-old Catholic male explained: “I think in the end it’s rewarding. I don’t mean like ‘heaven points’ or something like that. I just mean you feel better about yourself. I mean it’s helpful. I think it kind of puts you at ease, like peace of mind.” (Dollahite, Layton, & Bahr, Walker, & Thatcher, 2009, p. 714)
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Church Attendance and/or Being Active in a Religion can be Beneficial

Attending church is part of being religious for many youth. The frequency of attendance varies across youth. However, when youth consistently attend church and/or become active in their faith, they can experience several benefits including: (1) Staying away from bad influences or harmful circumstances, (2) Experience grounded faith leading to lessened despair , and (3) Learning the power of prayer (Dollahite & Marks, 2009; Marks & Dollahite, 2011).

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how church attendance can be beneficial for youth:

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“You know, people tend to isolate themselves from the rest of the family [when they are in a state of depression], which is stressful for the rest of the family [meaning both “church family” and biological family]. I think one of the worst things that they do is, they give up on faith. [My brother] stopped going to church, probably stopped praying. The worst thing that people could do is stop going to church, lose contact with their faith, not staying in contact with those people that would normally be a support mechanism for them, and then [instead, turning to] things like drugs and alcohol and violence.” (Marks & Dollahite, 2011, p. 187)
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Religious Practices can Help Facilitate Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness

Conflict is a part of family relationships. There are many ways that youth can contribute to conflict resolution with and forgiveness of family members when conflict occurs. Some of these ways include participating in religious practices – both on their own and with family members. Conflict resolution and forgiveness can be facilitated as youth participate in prayer, religious holiday traditions, and religious services, among other religious practices (Batson & Marks, 2008; Dollahite & Marks, 2009).

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religious practices can facilitate conflict resolution and forgiveness among family members:

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A Jewish 17-year-old daughter said: “The founder of the Hasidic Shul where we go in New York [said], ‘On Shabbas you apologize to your children. You ask for their forgiveness, for if you, God forbid, yelled at them anytime during the week, so that they thought that you didn’t love them . . . ’ [M]y parents have [apologized] to me several times. . . . It’s kind of like an underlying concept you know, especially on Friday nights or on Shabbat or on a holiday. We just want Shalom bayit [peace in the house], [if there are problems, we think] let’s resolve this.” (Dollahite & Marks, 2009, p. 381)
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Prayer is a Major Part of Religious Identity for Youth/Young Adults and their Families

Prayer is one of many religious practices that is part of a youth’s religious identities. Prayer was so ingrained in some youth, that they relied on prayer to get them through hard times, and found strength when the family prayed together during those hard times. Prayer is a religious practice that youth can participate in outside of church and many youth would pray whenever they felt the need to do so. Prayer was also found to unite families (Layton, Dollahite, & Hardy, 2011; Marks & Dollahite, 2011).

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how prayer is part of a youth’s religious identity:

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A father of five children said: “[We have a tradition in our family that on] Christmas morning, [when] the Christmas gifts are all [under the] Christmas tree . . . [when] the kids come down, before they rip open the presents, [we all] kneel down and say prayer and thank . . . Jesus [for] being born [into the world] and saving us. We’ll pray. [O]ne [Christmas] morning I was . . . grumbling about [the kids] getting up early . . . [but] the kids were just waiting; they were all kneeling down and waiting right under the tree [to pray] . . . [T]hey did it . . . on their own.” (Batson & Marks, 2008, p. 403)
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When Exploring Religious Beliefs, Talking to Parents can be Beneficial when Engaged in Youth-centered Conversation

The most engaging and helpful religious conversations between parents and youth occur when parents employ a more youth-centered style. Findings suggest that youth-centered conversations are the most engaging, enjoyable, and effective in helping adolescents understand their parents’ religiosity and explore their own religious beliefs (Dollahite & Thatcher, 2008). When parents and youth have open communication, youth are better able to express the questions and topics they have on their mind. When youth and parents are able to talk about the intersection of faith and family life in a youth-centered fashion, youth are better able to understand what their parents try to teach them, have a stronger relationship with their children, and youth are better able to enjoy interactions with their parents as they explore their religious beliefs.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how youth-centered conversations between parents and children can be beneficial:

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A 15-year-old Lutheran, explained how difficult questions led to a conversation and even a joint family search for an answer: “A lot of times it’s me and [10-year-old sister] coming up with questions. And it’s usually when we’re all sitting in the living room together and a question will pop into our head. We’ll ask, ‘Dad, what is this? What does that mean?’ And we always have a Bible around and it’s amazing because then we’ll look it up in the Bible and we’ll talk about it.” (Dollahite & Thatcher, 2008, p. 630)
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There are Many Anchors to Secure Youth to Their Faith

An anchor is something that provides one with a firm foundation and security in one’s position (Layton, Dollahite, & Hardy, 2011). There are many things that can anchor a youth to their religious commitment, which has consistently been linked to an increase in positive outcomes such as prosocial behavior and a decrease in negative outcomes such as risk taking and psychological disorders. Youth who are able to be anchored to their faith are able to develop morally, figure out who they are, and improve family relationships. These anchors include a youth’s commitment to: (1) religious rituals, (2) God, (3) faith tradition or denomination, (4) faith community members, (5) parents, (6) scripture or sacred texts, and (7) religious leaders.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how youth can be secured to their faith:

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An 18-year old Baptist young woman said: “I just remember sitting in English class last year and we were discussing a lot of things and I just remember sitting there thinking how confused I’d be on this earth if I didn’t have the Bible and God’s standard and morality to live by. Because things can be reasoned different ways and just become so relative and then you don’t know what truth is, and what right is, and what wrong is. And just sitting in that class and watching people try to like reason these things out, and thinking they don’t know. They might think this one day, and then someone will present a good argument tomorrow and they’ll swing over to the other side. And I was even so confused about [it]. I was thinking I want to go home and look at the Bible.” (Layton, Dollahite, & Hardy, 2011, p. 404)
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Religious Anchors can Also Help Youth to Overcome Challenges and Trials

Religious anchors can help youth overcome challenges they experience in life. These challenges can be personal, familial, or even be experienced on a community level. Being anchored in one’s religion can help youth to trust that they will receive the help and support they need, to trust that the outcome will be good for them, and to feel that someone cares (Tausch, et al., 2011).

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can help a youth overcome challenges life may bring:

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“Well, I think when my grandfather . . . died in December, he lived with us downstairs with my grandmother and the rest of us, and I’d never lived with anyone who’d died before, so it was a pretty big thing. But I think it was really sad in a lot of ways, but I think through . . . the whole thing, God did so many things that made us feel like He was really there and He really cared about us. And that what was happening was okay. And that my grandfather was really going to be living with Him.” (Dollahite & Marks, 2005, p. 19)
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