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School of Family Life
American Families of Faith Project

Practical Ideas From Our Research For Parents

By Hilary Dalton, Kate Handy, and Madison Stillwell

Hilary Dalton, one of the key contributors, was invited to work with students to put together a list of ideas from publishable articles that would be beneficial to religious parents and those that work with them. Below is a list of the categories of helpful ideas, with links to pages with more information and quotes as examples of how other faithful parents have found these ideas to be helpful.

Religious Parental Beliefs and Attitudes Conducive to Good Parenting

Parenting practices put into effect beliefs and attitudes that people hold. Religion can play a part in informing these beliefs and practices. Faithful parents place great meaning on parenthood, strive to believe in their children, and have their spending habits influenced by how their actions will affect their children. Parents were also found to believe that their faith helped them to be good mothers and fathers to their children. Religion also helped these couples recognize the need to ask for forgiveness from their children, believed in a merciful God, and also accepted that personal change is necessary. Many parents also believe that God is their father, which influences their beliefs and attitudes about what constitutes good parenting practices.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can help build parental beliefs and attitudes that are conducive to good parenting:

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“I have an interesting relationship with my children in that I invite them to help correct me when I demonstrate that I’m not being patient or long-suffering or kind or those kinds of things. My oldest daughter is really quite good at it, and my son is becoming good at it. They’ll be very candid with me, saying, ‘Dad, I feel uncomfortable with the way you’re handling this.'” (Marks & Palkovitz, 2007, p. 210)
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Religion Helps Parents help Their Children Learn and Grow

Children are always learning and growing. Faithful parents realize that teaching and learning are often done by example, although often discussions are part of this process. Children will ask faith-based questions in order to learn from their parents. Discussions that parents have with their children (whether or not they stem from questions asked by children) can help parents and children grow closer together, but parents must be careful about how they talk with their children about religious topics. Faithful parents also teach their children to trust in God and to look to Him throughout their lives.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can help parents help their children learn and grow:

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“If it’s a one-on-one conversation, it’s usually pretty interesting. It’s interactive. I enjoy talking about religion. Most of the time when we’re just talking as friends more than anything, like on a casual basis, it’s usually pretty cool. I’ll say something to [my Mom] about religion and she’ll be like, ‘Yeah, that’s awesome. I have a story that goes with whatever you were talking about.’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, that’s really cool.’ And you know we can talk about it casually.” (Marks & Dollahite, 2011, p. 189)
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Faithful Parents Lead Family Beliefs and Practices in Their Home

Faithful parents participate in multiple practices to help them raise their children. They consistently practice their beliefs with their children in their home, often donate money to God, and realize that God is in control of their lives. Parents that believe in God believe that all of their possessions belong to Him, use scriptures to help them raise their children, pray to God for help parenting, and rely on him to help their families overcome adversity with hope. Parents who believe in Christ place him at the center of their family life. These beliefs help guide parents as they take care of their children. Belonging to a faith community also plays a part in helping parents lead religious beliefs and practices in their home. Those who belong to a church community place great importance on the community. Worshipping allows families to forget individual and worldly things and helps them to focus on family peace. Attending church helps faithful parents to relax from the stresses life can bring, and allows them to learn and grow. As parents learn and grow in their parenting skills, they face challenges. Spending time together as a family during a tradition can be more important than the tradition itself. Implementing traditions can bring family unity, but parents need to put forth effort to make them effective. Parents also find that balancing service and family time can be difficult, but find that service can create great meaning in life.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can help parents help their children learn and grow:

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“There’s always the challenge of . . . let’s really make this relevant and helping [our children] see the usefulness. Sometimes I think [the resistance is] because of the pressures of their schedule, they’ve got homework, they’ve got this or that. (Sometimes) we need . . . to say, ‘Okay, listen . . . we can spend time complaining about this or we can actually have some meaningful time.’ And . . . I think for the most part, when we do have those times, they do appreciate it. [But there are] challenges.

Mitchell’s 18-year-old son, Byron, then interjected, ‘[We] might not always enter into it with the most willing attitude, but it’s definitely a blessing at the end.’” (Marks & Dollahite, 2012, p. 189)
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Religion Allows Parents and Children to Experience Beneficial Outcomes of Faithful Parenting

Not all parents and children experience healthy outcomes from the parenting process. However, religion can help increase likelihood of experiencing some healthy outcomes. Parents of faith find that there are blessings and consequences related to how they raised their children. These parents can also find fulfillment in the types of people their children become. Faith also helps children stay away from temptations seen as coming from the secular world.

The quote below demonstrates a personal example of how religion can bring beneficial outcomes from faithful parenting:

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“Every day I’m in awe . . . [by] the way [my son, Jacob] is [living his life]. I understand that he’s a human being and he makes mistakes also, but I think that the type of human being that he is . . . has . . . a lot to do with our religion and our faith and how he [lives] those things. I hope he continues to help [other people], the way that [he] has [already done].” (Batson & Marks, 2008, p. 406)
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